By You
by SoonerBrookie
Summary: "Let me see you through, 'cause I've seen the dark side too..." Rachel's performance at regionals seemed to have struck a chord with Finn... Will he want to get back with her? He's obviously still in love with her... but will it be too late?
1. That hug

I wanted to melt in his hug.

That hug.

Like it was natural. Like he was meant to casually squeeze my shoulders, pulling me against his side. Like he planned to always be able to pull me close against him. Like he planned to always stand by me. I returned his proud grin as the warmth of his arm radiated through me. This performance felt different. After every other competition, I had felt a surge of excitement course through me. I had been consumed with pride at the applause, and for so long, that had been enough. Now, I felt something else. Not pride, exactly. Not like before. No, it felt more like relief. Relief that I had finally told the world, told _him_, how I felt. Relief that he was hugging me, rather than pushing me away.

That hug.

I know I'll cling to that hug for forever. I know I'm not the easiest person to like. I know I have never kept my own self pride a secret. And I know, for those reasons, it isn't easy for people to like me. Finn had liked me. Finn had _loved _me. I know what we had shared was real. I could read it in his sweet eyes every time he smiled at me, and I could feel it in the tender way he would take my hand in the hall. And in our kisses… I guess it's okay if he didn't see fireworks with me. I saw enough for the both of us.

But then, we were offstage, and she was pulling him away. He glanced back at me, as if he were trying to apologize. I could only watch, my bruised heart sinking just a little lower with every step he took.

"Not bad, Berry!" Noah whooped as he passed me on his way from the green room. I just nodded, pasting my well practiced smile across my face. Before, I would have been glowing. Before, I would have taken all the praise from my team with what I know was irritating conceit. I was just appreciative now, for their support. I followed my friends into the green room, walking through the door with my head held high, that rehearsed smile still in place.

I can't remember what Mr. Schuester said to us. I can't remember what I said, if anything, to them. But I do remember his eyes, those dark pools that somehow held so much light, find mine across the room. In that moment, it had seemed as if everyone else in the room just drifted away. . There was only him. And as the corner of his mouth snuck up into that adorable smirk, I believed in us again. I felt like I could pretend that Quinn wasn't at his side, trying to break into the world we had created for ourselves. This was our moment. I felt my frozen smile melt, and turn into something real, something warm.

His eyes slowly fell from mine, breaking the universe that had put the air back in my lungs. I held my smile, hugging that warmth close in my heart. I had never felt like I had needed anyone before, always believing I could make my own way in the world. The way I stole these little moments with Finn, the little moments that were so miniscule that only I would call them "moments" at all, told me that I needed him.

I had always loved the bus ride back from competitions. I had always felt that those rides were the perfect opportunity for me to perfect the club's skills by organizing impromptu rehearsals, and analyzing our set lists. I wanted to laugh at myself for wasting those moments facing everyone and begging for attention, rather than soaking up each and every one of those moments with Finn. The moments when he would be waiting next to me for the bus, instead of lingering on the sidewalk with Quinn, leaving me alone between two couples. The moments he would hold my hand, and laugh with me. The moments he would let me curl up against his side and sleep for the rest of the ride home…

This time, I was first to climb aboard the school bus, rather than bouncing at the door, insisting of complimenting (well, constructively critiquing) each of my fellow Glee clubbers as they got on. I slid into the first seat, my smile beginning to wear thin. I would force it as everyone passed, hugging me or smiling. Somehow, I kept it shining as Finn passed by, towed by Quinn.

As the bus began to move, I sank lower into my seat, leaning my forehead against the window. I had just given the performance of my life, and for once, I wasn't glowing with the knowledge of how talented I was.

I felt humiliated… had I put it all out there, let Finn know that I wasn't giving up on him, that I hoped that I could finally get it right, for nothing?

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! This is my first glee fic… I hope you like it! I'm obviously VERY much a Finchel fan, and can't wait to see where this fic will lead! Remember, Reviews equal inspiration!


	2. Get it right

"Damn it," I muttered under my breath as I turned the key in the ignition, desperate to get home and pop in some Barbara. Today was definitely a cry me to sleep kind of day. I felt tears of frustration sting my eyes as I turned the key again and again, to which my car simply responded with a painful sort of groaning. I slapped the steering wheel and climbed out, feeling my face drop into a pout. I kept my face averted from the rest of my teammates, who were all getting into their own (working) vehicles or waiting for their parents. I was still embarrassed by what I had done today, and there was no way I was ready to act as if it were no big deal. I sat down on the curb by my car, curling my legs beneath me as I dug into my purse for my phone. The tears began to sneak down my cheek, the confused pride, joy, humiliation, and pain that had made up the day too much for even me to take.

I felt someone sit next to me on the cool concrete, and I didn't have to turn my head to know who it was. His presence was something I could never forget. That sweet, simple energy that seemed to radiate between us, like it was meant to draw us together like magnets. The spicy, intoxicating scent of his aftershave, mingled with the subtle hint of body wash and sweat. I could breathe him in. I pretended like I hadn't noticed him, even though he completely bombarded my senses, causing an even stronger torrent of tears to cascade from my eyes.

"You were amazing, Rachel." He said simply, so close that I could feel his body brush against mine. I kept my face down, afraid to show my weakness and tears, afraid to show how much I needed him. He had seen my tears too many times in the past few months to be affected by them. I didn't want to be attacked with rejection again.

"Yeah," I managed to chirp, trying to pass a sudden sob off as a cough, "The team has grown so much this year. They did such a great job."

"I didn't notice the team," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. I snuck a peek up at him, and felt my breath catch, when our eyes met. There was a fire that was burning there, a fire I hadn't seen in weeks. He sighed, and lifted his hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear. I squeezed my eyes shut against the new tears, cursing the way my body responded to his touch like it were oxygen.

"You were so beautiful out there, Rachel," he whispered, his hand trailing down my arm as if he were searching to take my hand. I hugged my arms closer to my body, protecting my hand and heart from his touch. I knew just how fragile holding his hand would render my sanity. He paused, and let his hand fall.

"We both know I'm not smart," he said, lightly, "But I think I've kind of set the record for dumb asses the last few months huh? Like I just told Quinn, I never should have-"

"Listen," I interjected, finally turning my face up to his. His face fell at the sight of my tears, and he reached up to wipe his hand across my cheek. I gently pushed his hand down, and held it against his lap, " I can't hear what you and Quinn talk about. I can't hear about you sharing secrets and feelings with her- secrets and feelings that you could not and now will never share with me. It hurts too damn much, Finn. It's like I can't breathe when I see the two of you together, when I have to think about you choosing her and not me."

"No, Rachel, I just-"

"Let me finish, please. I know I told you that I was moving on. That I was focusing on my career. That there was no place left for me with you. I was lying to you, Finn. And that's why it hurts so much when I see you with her, when I think of your hands, your lips…" I fought back new tears, looking down at our hands as I searched for the strength to finish.

"I meant every word of that song. I hope one day, I can get it right. I tried so hard with you, Finn. I know it may not have seemed that way, because I know my personality makes it impossible for people to take me seriously. Point is, I still love you. And I'm not going to give up on you. But I just… I just can't listen to you talk about her." I tried to pull my hand from his, but his strong grip held it tight.

"That's what I'm trying to say, Rachel," He said, scooting closer to me on the curb. I just shook my head, not wanting to hear that he could never love me again, that he was with Quinn, that he planned on staying with her. I had to hold on to some shred of hope of him loving me if I was going to live through this crushing pain that I thought only existed in the movies.

"Let me go, Finn," I whispered, my tear filled eyes meeting his. I tugged my hand free of his as a single tear escaped through his lashes, trailing it's way down his cheek.

"I'm going to go ask Mr. Schue for a ride," I whispered, nodding as if to reassure myself that walking away from him was the right thing to do, although it was also the most difficult.

"I could-" I just shook my head, and tried to give him a sad smile.

"You were amazing today, too." I said simply, before turning my back to him and starting across the parking lot.

"Rachel, wait!" I paused, and shut my eyes, waiting for his next words. "I- I miss you, Rachel," he said simply, his voice rough with his hidden tears.

"Don't, Finn." I replied without turning, wrapping my arms around myself as if to preserve the little strength I had left, "Don't say things like that when you don't mean them, okay? Not when you're still going back to her. I hope I can get it right with you, Finn. But until I- until we do… Just don't. Please. Don't." With a new sob, I hurried away from him, leaving him standing alone on the sidewalk.


	3. Mistakes

Hi fellow Finchel Gleeks! I thought it was important to the story for me to include Finn's POV here and there… That way we know EXACTLY what's going on! Keep the reviews coming, please! They are AMAZING inspiration!

I wanted to hold her closer.

That girl.

The girl who had shown me how to be myself. The girl who had taught me how to laugh at myself. The girl who loved me at my lowest points, and let me love her back. The girl who had really taught me _how _to love. It felt familiar and just… just _right _to have my arm around her shoulder again, and to see her smiling up at me. I hugged her against my side as the applause showered over us. _Right._

That girl.

I wanted to hold her forever. She was so beautiful. Surely she knew that? I've never been a smart guy, and hell, God knows I've been more of a dumbass than usual lately. I've screwed so many things up. Still, surely I was smart enough to let her know how beautiful she was when I was with her. How perfect.

How did we get here?

How is it that I can let myself be pulled away from the one person I ever felt really understood me, who loved me whether I was star quarterback or glee geek, smooth jock or awkward teen? How is it that I can sit here now beside Quinn, and keep on lying to myself. Sure, Rachel hurt me. Bad. But I hurt her, too. And I'm still hurting her. I told myself that it didn't work with Rachel because I had never gotten over Quinn.

Bullshit.

I told myself that, because I knew, deep down, that getting back with Quinn would hurt Rachel the most. No matter what I told myself or anyone else, I knew Rachel would find out about us. Quinn wasn't going to keep that a secret for long. What a mistake. What a BUNCH of damn mistakes.

Now what could I do? What could I say to either one of them? How could I explain to Rachel why I went back to Quinn, who had done so much worse, when I couldn't forgive her? Would just saying I'm stupid and I was wrong work? I got Rachel's song. When would _I _get it right? I was done walking around the school like a big shot if it meant that I had to lose Rachel. I had promised Quinn Prom court… which I guess is really all she wants from me.

I let my gaze scan my teammates as we gather around Schue in the green room before I let it finally fall on Rachel where she sits between Mercedes and Puck. She was sitting on the sofa, her legs curled under her, staring down at her hands where they lay folded against her lap. Puck glanced over at her, and up at Mercedes, as they exchanged a look. What was wrong with her? She had proven, once again, that she was better than all of us. She was a star, a star that shined too brightly for this lame little town.

I knew, whatever it was, it was my fault. I felt like everything that hurt her was my fault. I should have been more of a man. I should have protected her from my own hurt feelings and bruised pride. My heart skipped a beat when she looked up, then, and her big eyes caught mine. I couldn't help but smile as I let myself get lost in them, the way I did every day during that one perfect summer. I felt like I could pretend that we were back there in my room, curled up on my tiny bed, just us. _Just us. I wish I hadn't taken those days for granted. Her smile changed, then, into that happy smile I knew from those times. It took my breath away. I hadn't realized that smile had been missing until it reappeared again, like magic._

_I felt Quinn's hand slip into mine, and I glanced down. I felt like there was no way to fix this. I was lost. _

"_I'm thinking red for prom," Quinn said later, gripping my hand as we waited for the bus back to school. I just nodded, fighting the urge to finally tell her the truth, the truth she had known from the beginning. What would that help? I knew Rachel knew about us, now, but she hadn't said anything to me. I glanced over to where she stood between Mike and Tina, Brittany and Artie, her arms wrapped around herself. She had given me that song though… I may not be smart, but I knew that song was for me. For us._

_God, I had messed up._

_Hey all! I just want to thank you again for all the reviews! Please keep it up! I'm very excited about this fic, although it's going to take another chapter or two of development. Please forgive the writing of this chapter… I was trying to sound more like Finn… You know, more simple than particularly eloquent! You all are AMAZING. Please R&R!_


	4. First step

Another Finn POV

"Hey Quinn, listen… "I whispered as I walked her to her car, waving goodbye to Mercedes as she climbed into her dad's truck. Quinn's eyes turned hard, and she tugged the door of her car open, tossing her purse into the passenger. She wheeled around to stare up at me, her hands on her hips.

"No, you listen to me, Finn Hudson," she said, poking me in the chest, "I saw the way you were staring at her today. How could you do that to me? This is what's going to happen, Finn. We're both going to go home, and you're going to think about what you want."

"Quinn, we both know that we never should have started this up again. What is this? We're terrible for each-"

"No, Finn. We're right. We were on top before, and we're on top again. Why would you want to throw that away? So, Monday, we'll come back to school, and everything will be fine. You're going to pretend that you didn't get Rachel's not so subtle little message. You're going to ask me to prom. And you and I, Finn Hudson, will be voted Prom King and Queen. That's the way it should have been in the first place." She reached up and smoothed her hand over my cheek. Nothing.

"We're just making things right. This is the way things would have happened if I hadn't gotten drunk with Puck. This is how it would have gone down if you hadn't had that fling with Rachel to get at me."

"It wasn't a fling, Quinn…" I whisper, pushing her hand away, "And I didn't do it to get back with you. I was _in love_ with Rachel. I started loving her before I broke up with you, and I felt so guilty then. And we both know I never stopped loving her."

"I left Sam for you, Finn."

"Come on, Quinn. We both know you never loved Sam. Not really. You're so worried about ending up on top again, that you'll use whoever you think will get you there." She stared up at me, before turning to slide into her car.

"We're both just going to go home, and cool off. Okay? You just have that song running through your mind. She's not good for you, Finn." I just shake my head, and glance over to the spot where I saw Rachel park her car that morning. I was surprised to see it still sitting there.

"Whatever, Quinn," I answered, waving my hand and turning my back on her. God, I was so stupid. Quinn had made me miserable before… what had made me think it would be different a second time around. I watched as Quinn drove away, and then started towards Rachel.

I paused for a moment, when I caught sight of her. She was sitting on the cold sidewalk in front of her car, digging in her purse. Even like that, she took my breath away.

Rachel.

Finchel.

Right.

Quinn was wrong. _Rachel and I were right. _

_We had to be right. I took a deep breath, and closed the distance between us, sitting beside her on the curb. _


	5. Cheesy

"MVP!" Noah growled in my ear, wrapping his big arms around me. I laughed as my teammates surrounded me, pulling me into the center of their group hug. I felt tears sting my eyes as they embraced me.

These were my friends.

I glanced up to see that Finn and Quinn were hanging back. Finn smiled, sadly, as if he were trying to tell me he wanted to be right there next to me. Wishful thinking on my part? Probably. I looked back down, forcing myself to enjoy my friends' praise and support.

"Thank you," I whispered, as we broke apart. I looked around at all of them and smiled, "I love all of you. So much. There was no way I could have done any of that without you." I glanced at Finn, and my eyes caught his. Did he know that I was talking to him more than the others? Did he know how much it hurt to see him sitting in that chair next to Quinn, although they weren't touching. I looked away quickly, and stepped forward to perch on one of the chairs in the back row.

"Congratulations again, Rach," Schue said, clapping his hands together, "Alright guys, here's what's up. You all were amazing, and I mean AMAZING up there this weekend. You really came together as a team, and proved that we're more than just that- we're a family. I have never been more proud of all of you. Now, with that being said, we have to face vocal adrenaline and Sunshine-"

"Yeah, thanks to Rachel, she's the enemy." I closed my eyes against Quinn's words.

"Shut up, Quinn," Noah interjected, wheeling in his chair to face her, "Thanks to Rachel, we just won regionals."

"Puck's right," Mercedes added, leaning forward in her chair, "We all know Rachel's got what it takes to beat sunshine."

"Thanks, guys," I mouthed to both of them, grateful and honestly a bit surprised that they were the two who had my back. Mercedes squeezed my hand and smiled.

"Like I was saying guys, they have Sunshine. What I'm more worried about though, is that I have it on good authority that Jesse St. James has been assisting their coach during his breaks from UCLA." My heart flip-flopped as Schue mentioned Jesse's name. I glanced down at Finn, who was gazing up at me with worried eyes, his mouth open.

"That's such crap!" Noah yelled, leaning forward, " Why can't that little weasel just stay in Cali? He knows exactly how to beat us!" There was a general assent from the group, who were slumped in their chairs like the breath had been knocked out of all of them. I glanced around at them, before standing up.

"I get that, Puck," Schue replied, "But I don't think this is the end of the world. Like I said, I'm worried, because Jesse knows our strengths and our weaknesses. But we've all grown this year. You all have matured as people and performers. We're going to be fine. Now-" He crossed over to the board and drew a triangle with little circles in it.

"Who can tell me what this is?" He tapped his marker against the white board.

"Cheese." Along with everyone else, I rolled my eyes at Brittany. Mr. Schue, though, smiled and nodded.

"Exactly, Britt. It's 'Cheesy.'" We all looked at Brittany in unison, surprised. She looked back at us with those empty child's eyes and nodded.

"Yeah," she said softly, snapping her fingers. Santana smiled at her, before catching herself and turning around.

" 'Cheesy'," Mr. Schuester said again, "Is our assignment for this week. I want you all to come up with at least one song that's deemed 'cheesy' and make it great again. It's kind of like our bad reputation assignment from last year." Everyone laughed, and I glanced down at my team.

I had the perfect idea.

"What are you going to sing?" Mercedes asked me as we walked to her locker, unfortunately stuck into the crowded hallway behind Finn and Quinn.

"I have a couple of ideas," I said softly, watching the back of Finn's head. He was upset. I knew him so well, I could tell just by the way the muscles in his neck were tense.

"Girl, listen." Mercedes pulled me to a stop besides her locker, snapping her fingers in front of my face as I watched Finn and the blond beside him blend in with the crowd.

"What?" I asked, trying to play it off.

"You need to snap out of this, Rachel." She frowned, as she opened her locker and pulled out her U.S. History book, "This isn't you. You've been so down lately, and we all know why. We're just worried about you. Believe it or not, we kind of miss bossy and annoying Rachel Berry. The Rachel Berry who didn't need a man to define her."

"I don't need a man to define me, Mercedes," I argued softly, glancing down at my pink flats.

"No, but you want a certain man to define you," she replied, shutting her locker. She looked at me and nodded, " Don't let it eat at you like it does. We all know what you were saying in that awesome song, Rachel. Finn does too. Just give it time, and he'll realize he's made a mistake." I smiled at her, and hugged her.

"Thanks, Mercedes," I said, leaning forward and hugging her. I stepped back and smiled, "And thank you for sticking up for me in there. I know you and Quinn became close last year, and it means a lot to me that you said that to her in there."

"Girl, we know I'm honest," she said, smiling, "And Quinn is different. It's like last year never happened. I don't get what's up with her."

"They're back on top." I shrugged, "It IS like the past year never happened. I feel like that stupid girl with a crush on the big shot all over again." I bit my lip to stop the tears. Mercedes took my hand and squeezed it as we blended back in with the crowd.

"Thing is, girl," she said as we walked to history, "Is that he loves you, too. We all can see that. So can Quinn. And that's why she's hanging on to him so tightly."

"I hope so," I tossed my hair.

"Just promise me that we'll get our Rachel back, okay?" She said as we walked into the classroom and slid into our seats, "We kind of miss being bossed around." I laughed.

"Sure thing," I answered, smiling. I glanced over at her and said, "I better get a solo at nationals. My talent is too big and too bright for swaying in the background."

"There we go," she said, laughing.

You guys are AMAZING. Thank you for the reviews, and keep them coming! ALSO, please message me with little one shots of Finn/Rachel from the series that you would like me to write from their POV! Other ideas for one shots are also welcome! Don't worry, I'm devoted to this story. Another chapter will be up VERY soon! J As always, Please R&R! If you like this story, recommend it to your friends!


	6. I Miss you

Suggestions for this chapter: If available, listen to "Smile (Charlie Chaplin) as sung by the glee cast, at least for the beginning of the chapter. If you don't have the Glee recording, any will do. My personal favorite is Nat King Cole.

I stared at myself in the mirror, rehearsing poses and smiles. This practice always used to make me feel better. It was easy for me to pretend that I was a star, that it would be easy to burst on to Broadway. I glanced over my left shoulder, and painted that rehearsed smile on my face.

It wasn't working like it used to. I sighed and reached for my hairbrush when I heard the "bing bong" of a new instant message. I paused, before spinning my chair around to face my open laptop. I couldn't help but smile just a little when I saw who it was.

**GoTitans5: I miss you, you know.**

I read that one line, over and over. He had said that after the competition, too. It was just too hard for me to believe… He had spent weeks, months, proving the opposite. I frowned when I remembered the kissing booth. THAT had hurt. He kissed just about every girl in the school… and left me with a soft brush of his lips against my cheek.

**GoTitans5: Rach? Are you there?**

I sighed, and brushed my fingers over the keyboard. I wanted to reply… but I didn't know how. We had hurt each other, and some of that was my fault. But he was back with… with her. He couldn't forgive me for a simple kiss, but he was dating the girl who tried to pass off another guy's baby as his.

How was that fair? How was it fair that I still loved him?

How was it fair that I still prayed that I could get it right. I took a deep breath, and brushed my fingertips over the keyboard again.

**STARberryShortcake: Yeah.**

**GoTitans5: Yeah, you know? Or yeah, you're there.**

**STARberryShortcake: Idk.**

**GoTitans5: Oh.**

**GoTitans5: I guess you can't sleep either.**

**STARberryShortcake: No.**

**GoTitans5: Can you cut it out with the one word messages, Rachel?**

**STARberryShortcake: I can try. I'm just a little surprised that you're IM ing me.**

**GoTitans5: Why?**

**STARberryShortcake: C'mon Finn.**

**GoTitans5: Because I'm the world's biggest Doosh. **

I felt the smile tug at the corner of my lips again. I always found his appalling spelling adorable.

**STARberryShortcake: Well, yeah. And it's spelled DOUCHE.**

**GoTitans5: Lol oh. I've been a major DOUCHE.**

**GoTitans5: I'm sorry about that, btw. So sorry.**

**STARberryShortcake: K. I'm used to your spelling. **

**GoTitans5: Not what I was talking about.**

**STARberryShortcake: I know.**

**GoTitans5: Oh.**

I read our diluted conversation, and wanted to cry. There was so much that I wanted to say to him, but I just couldn't. I had poured everything I had into that damn song, hoping it would get his attention, and it didn't.

He HAD just messaged me for the first time in weeks…

**STARberryShortcake: I miss you, too.**

There was a long pause, and I thought that he had logged off.

**GoTitans5: Can I call you?**

YES! I wanted to hear his voice, that deep hum that still managed to sound innocent and boyish…

**STARberryShortcake: No.**

**GoTitans5: Why not?**

Because I wanted to hear that voice say he still loved me…

**STARberryShortcake: I just don't think it's a good idea.**

**GoTitans5: I think it is.**

**STARberryShortcake: Quinn wouldn't approve.**

**GoTitans5: Prob not.**

**STARberryShortcake: And that's WHY not.**

I heard "Defying Gravity" ring from my purse on my dresser. I closed my eyes, willing myself NOT to cross the room and answer it.

**STARberryShortcake: Don't, Finn.**

**GoTitans5: Please?**

**STARberryShortcake: I can't.**

My phone stopped ringing.

**GoTitans5: I messed up.**

**STARberryShortcake: I can't do this tonight.**

**GoTitans5: But I miss you.**

**STARberryShortcake: But you're with her.**

There was another long pause.

**GoTitans5: Like I said, I messed up.**

**STARberryShortcake: Night, Finn.**

**GoTitans5: Oh. R U going to bed?**

**STARberryShortcake: Yeah. It's getting late.**

**GoTitans5: Oh. K.**

**GoTitans5: I miss you, Rachel Berry.**

***STARberryShortcake has signed off.**

"**I miss you, too, Finn Hudson," I whispered into the empty room, shutting down my computer. **

**(Please R&R!)**


	7. Reasons?

Finn POV

…...

"Oh crap."

My geometry book fell out of my locker, spilling the homework that was due. I forgot to do it. For the fifth day in a row. I bent down to pick up the papers and my book, and paused when a pair of canary yellow flats appeared.

My favorite knee socks.

I stood up, hitting my head on the corner of my locker door. That hurt. AND it was friggin' embarrassing. I straightened up, groaning. Rachel gave a smile before crouching to straighten my homework. She slipped the papers into my book and stood up, handing it to me.

"Are you okay?"

Was I okay? I wanted to wrap my arms around the perfect girl in front of me. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair. I wanted to kiss her, and feel her kiss me back. I wanted to make her smile again, to make her laugh. I wanted to sing with her, because when I did, I felt like we were the only two people in the world.

But I couldn't do any of that, and it was my fault.

Plus, my head still really hurt.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, smiling at her and taking my book. I turned to close my locker, and said, "Do you have a cheese song?"

"A cheesy song?" She asked, laughing a little.

"Yeah, that's what I meant. Cheesy." I turned and returned her laugh, blushing a little. Why did I ever let this go?

"I have a couple things prepared," she answered as we headed towards the choir room, "I'm not sure which one I'm going to choose though. I guess I have to get the feel of my audience first." I laughed, and nodded.

"Very Rachel."

"It's very important for a star to know her audience, Finn," she replied, winking, " I have to base my performance on what will be most popular to them while remaining true to my own voice." She looked up at me and said, "I'm glad you messaged me last night. I know it may not have seemed like it, but I am. It meant a lot."

"It meant a lot to me, too," I stopped her outside the choir room door, "I wish you had let me call you, though. I really want to talk to you. We haven't talked in a long time."

"Wasn't there a reason for that?" She looked up at me, her eyes sad.

"I don't remember the reason," I whispered, once again finding myself lost in her big brown eyes. It would be easy, wouldn't it? To lean down, and press my lips against hers, to hug her? I had done it a million times before.

"I remember all of them," she said, biting her lip. She glanced over her shoulder into the choir room. I looked up and saw Quinn watching us, her arms crossed, "I remember the ones that were my fault, AND the ones that were yours." She reached up and touched the star pendant that had settled at the base of her throat.

She was wearing my necklace.

"I'm starting to believe in myself again, Finn," she said, shifting her books in her arms. She paused to smile at Mercedes as she walked by, and then looked back up at me, "That song helped me express a lot of feelings and thoughts that I had been hiding for far too long. I meant every word I sang. And I AM going to get it right. Right by you, right by us… but right by me, first. I suggest you do the same. I need to believe in everything I can do again."

"I never stopped believing in you, Rachel" I whispered, ducking my head to look more deeply into her eyes, "I was an ass, but that never changed."

"You did always support me," she said, nodding, "even when it wasn't the kind of support I wanted. I was able to perform like that because of you." She smiled at me, sadly, before turning and walking into the choir room. I stood there, blinking for a moment, surprised by the way she had just ended our talk. I followed her into the choir room, and stopped when I saw her sitting on one of the two empty chairs left. She sat between Tina and Mercedes, who winked at her as she sat down. The only other chair was next to Quinn, who raised an eyebrow at me.

Crap, crap, crap.

I fell into the chair, dropping my bag at my side. I didn't look at Quinn, but I could feel her staring at me. She and Rachel had that in common at least. They were scary when they were angry. I pretended to be reading my sheet music when she leaned closer and whispered,

"What was that about?" I looked up at her then, and shrugged.

"I was talking to Rachel," I said, "Why does it matter?" I had told her a hundred times that I didn't want to be with her anymore. These past few weeks were enough misery for a lifetime. I knew Quinn wasn't mean, not really. But when she wanted something, she was. It wasn't that she wasn't a good person, exactly. She just wasn't good for me.

"Who would like to start off our festival of cheesiness?" Mr. Schue asked, turning around from the piano. I glanced back at Rachel with a smile, expecting to see her hand in the air. I was sure she would volunteer to go first. She didn't.

"Mr. Schue, I would like to start with a song that has taught me so much about life and loss," Brittany said, raising her hand. Schue smiled and nodded.

"Well, alright, Brittany! Take it away.""Take what away?"

"Just sing," Mercedes groaned, making everybody laugh. Brittany skipped to the piano and whispered something into Sam's ear. He looked at her strangely before a second, before starting to play.

"On top of spaghetti, all covered with CHEESE, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed…"

It was nothing compared to what Rachel was going to sing, and I was disappointed that I had to wait to hear her cheesy choice. I hadn't heard her sing since Regionals.

Even though, I have to admit… I do LOVE this song.

And, you know, Spaghetti.

…...

Please R&R! You guys are AMAZING! I also like the suggestions for one shots and such… keep those coming as well! I'm already working on a couple! As always, please suggest my story to your friends!


	8. Thank you's

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi Finchel Gleeks! I'm sorry it's been so long since my last chapter… I was kind of sick for awhile, and by the time I was back up and writing, the season had picked up again! BUT, after giving it much thought, I decided to continue this story rather than just throwing in the towel. The season was amazing, but I thought I could continue an AU story to satisfy our Finchel withdrawals! I'll include some aspects of the cannon season wherever possible.

"Of course," Mercedes muttered, laughing silently as Brittany swirled dramatically in the center of the choir room, lamenting over her lost meatball. I rolled my eyes, but was unable to hide a small smile. Some things about Glee never change. I glanced down at Finn, and felt the smile fade away.

Some things about Glee change too much, too often.

I loved him. So much. Of course I did. I loved him, even as Santana slapped me in the face with the fact that Finn had slept with her and lied to me about it. I loved him, even as we screamed at each other from across the green room at sectionals. I loved him, even after he broke up with me, once and for all, at Christmas. Even after the kissing booth. The Mono. Quinn.

I loved him, even after he took Quinn back.

I loved him, now, as he sat next to her, clearly uncomfortable there. After I heard the sweet words I had been waiting for months to hear again. I loved him so much, it hurt to breath when he wasn't there. As much as it hurt to see him with Quinn, it hurt even more when I couldn't see him at all. I wanted to be sitting on the front row with him again, holding our joined hands on my lap as he laughed.

I smiled again, surprising myself, as I remembered those few first months together. We had messed up so many times, and yet, it had worked out. And I still hoped that it would work out for us again. I felt Mercedes, push her elbow into my ribs and I looked up at her, blushing.

"Be Rachel," she whispered, smiling sympathetically, correctly guessing where my mind had been. She linked her arm through mine, reminding me of one of the Glee things that never changes. The support I've always felt from my teammates. That simple smile from Mercedes reminded me that, no matter how much I missed Finn, no matter how much I still loved him, I could never lose who I was. Like I told Finn, I was learning to believe in myself again. I could never lose the feeling that performing gave me, or the feeling of belonging that came with being in Glee club. I performed the way I had the other day, not only because of Finn, but because of the support that everyone in this room had shown me. Even during the times I must have irritated them beyond belief, they had stayed, we had stayed, steadfast as a team.

"That was… fantastic, Brittany," Mr. Schue said gently, as Brittany took her seat, "but it wasn't quite what I was looking for. By cheesy, I meant a song that-"

"Mr. Schue?" I shot my hand in the air, perching on the edge of my chair. Schue smiled at me, and I felt Mercedes squeeze my arm.

"Yes, Rachel?"

"I have the perfect song for the assignment, and would really like to share it with everyone, now."

"Of course, come on up." Mr. Schue took his usual seas as I centered myself in front of the team, and smiled. It wasn't the plastic smile I had perfected in the last few months, but one of the smiles I could feel radiating from my chest, spreading through my limbs.

"I would like to dedicate this to my New Directions teammates, who have put up with me in the good times, and the bad. I may not always tell you, but I couldn't do any of what I do without you. " I couldn't help but glance down at Finn, who had a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips. I took a deep breath and told Sam what I would be singing. As he played the first few notes. I smiled again, and squared myself in front of them.

"It must have been cold there in my shadow,

To never have sunlight on your face."

I made sure to meet their eyes, one by one as I sang, my heart swelling as I sang.

"You were content to let me shine, that's your way,

You always walked a step behind."

Mr. Schue nodded, approvingly, and my heart jumped as I let my eyes slip from his to Finn's.

" So I was the one with all the glory,

While you were the one with all the strength,"

He smiled, warming me, as I glanced back up at Mercedes and Tina.

"A beautiful face without a name, for so long,

A beautiful smile to hide the pain…"

I felt that familiar rush of performing wash over me as I closed my eyes and lost myself to the song, feeling the words, belting the chorus like I was on a stage rather than an enclosed classroom.

"Did you ever that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart.

I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it,

I would be nothing without you."

I opened my eyes, and felt tears course down my cheeks as my eyes met Finn's. His smiled widened, and I saw that fire in his eyes again. It was almost painful to pull my eyes away. I walked forward, and moved between the chairs as I sang, hugging the people who had become my family.

"Did you ever know that you're my hero?

You're everything, everything, I wish I could be."

I kissed Artie on the cheek as I climbed the steps, hugging Brittany, then Santana, refusing to let anyone go unthanked.

"Oh and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,

'cause you are the wind beneath my wings"

I mussed Noah's Mohawk, playfully, hugging Lauren and Sam as I passed them, loving the newcomers in our group just as much as those who had been there since the beginning. I twirled Mike, before pausing in front of Mercedes and Tina.

"Did I ever tell you you're my hero?"

I took one of their hands in each of my own, new tears threatening to spill.

"And everything, everything I wish I could be.

Oh and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,

Cause you are the wind beneath my wings."

I hug Tina, then Mercedes, the two other original girls.

"Cause you are the wind beneath my wings."

I smiled at them both before stepping back down to the front row, and hugged Mr. Schue, the man who had become like an extra (or third in my case) father to all of us.

"Oh the wind beneath my wings.

You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings."

I turned to Quinn, and hugged her quickly, noting how tense she was.

"Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high…"

I turned to Finn, who wrapped his arms around me before I could, and I automatically leaned into his chest as I sang. I could feel his face press into my hair, making it clear that he didn't care that Quinn was glaring at us.

"Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings,

Oh you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings."

I pulled away from his embrace reluctantly, placing myself in front of the team, smiling out at them as I sang, the tears coursing freely down my cheeks now. I tilted my head back, feeling my body move as I belted out the final few lines.

"Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,

So high I almost touch the sky.

Thank you, thank God for you,

The wind beneath my wings…"

I caught my breath as the last few notes hung in the air, gazing out at everyone. Mr. Schue slowly stood up, his hand on his chest, and then started clapping.

"That was beautiful, Rachel," he said, as the others started clapping, and Mercedes and Tina wiped tears from their cheeks. He placed his hand on my shoulder, and turned to the others.

"That, guys, is what this assignment was all about. Rachel took a song that was once powerful, but had lost some of it's umph to overuse, and made it her own, breathing life into it again."

"Thank you, Mr. Schue," I said, softly, tears still clinging to my cheeks. I shyly met Finn's eyes again, and saw the fire still burning there, brighter than before. I walked back up to my seat, so glad that I had finally thanked my friends for everything that they did. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brittany lead towards Mercedes and whisper,

"She didn't even mention cheese."


	9. Time

"Can I sit?" I asked Finn, walking up behind him in the cafeteria. He glanced up at me, and his eyes brightened. His mouth was full, so he nodded, trying to smile around the huge bite he had just taken.

He shouldn't be so adorable.

I set my tray on the table and slid into the seat beside him, hanging my purse over the back of the chair. I glanced down and had to laugh when I saw his lunch. Two sloppy joe's and a heaping plate of fries. I should have known.

"Look, Finn, I think we need to talk." I glanced down at my salad, picking at it with my fork, " I was telling you the truth before. I miss you so much it hurts. And I want to believe that you still care for me. I still want you." I heard him swallow, and looked up into his milk chocolate eyes.

"Rachel, I never-"

"Listen to me for a second, okay? I've spent the last few months dying inside, berating my self for what I did with Puck, feeling so guilty."

"You shouldn't bereave yourself, Rachel," he said, interrupting me. I smiled.

" 'Berate'" I corrected, patiently, like I had done a million times before, "But anyway, in the past few days, I've finally learned to relax. To not take the blame wholly on myself for us breaking up. I know I hurt you, Finn. I never should have let Puck lead me away that day. I was just so upset, knowing that Santana would always have that part of you that I thought would one day be just for me. The first time is something you can never get back. And I think I knew that kissing Puck would hurt you just as much as Santana's news had hurt me. I know I hurt you, and for that I'm so sorry."

" I hurt you, too," Finn said, picking up on what I was saying. I couldn't deny it, so I nodded slowly, glancing down at my hands on the table.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel," he whispered, twiddling a fry between his fingers, tears in his deep voice again. I laid my hand on his arm, willing him to look at me.

"Finn, I forgave you months ago. I just put so much of myself into winning you back, I never gave my heart a chance to stop aching." For the first time, I noticed he had a tiny bit of sandwich on his face. I giggled, despite the depth of our conversation, and indicated that he had something on his face.

"You missed a spot, " I whispered, softly. His eyes almost crossed as he tried to look down at his face, and ran the tip of his tongue along the corner of his mouth.

"Did I get it?" He asked. I laughed and shook my head. He ran his tongue along his lips, then smacked them. "Now." I rolled my eyes, still laughing at his antics, and dipped the corner of a paper napkin into my water. I ran the napkin along the corner of his mouth, slowly, wiping away the offending bit of food. I glanced up to find him staring at me, his eyes soft.

"There," I said, wadding up the napkin and laying it down on the table. I leaned away from him, afraid that his closeness would shake my resolve.

"I'm afraid, Finn," I said, finally, staring down at my hands. "You say that you're done with Quinn, that you never should have gotten back with her, that you miss me." I looked back up at him, and saw a frown working at the corners of his mouth.

"I feel like I lost so much of myself, wanting you, even while you were with her. Like all my confidence flew out the window. At least until I performed at regionals. I have to be sure before I can even think about being with you again. Sure that I know myself, that I can hold on to who I am rather than who WE are. Sure that you won't leave for her again. Sure, 100% sure that you want to be with me."

He opened his mouth to reply, but I just shook my head, smiling sadly, and continued.

"And I need you to be sure, Finn. I need you to be sure I'm who you want. I need you to be sure when you break up with Quinn. I need you to be sure that we can forgive each other for everything, and start again." He just nodded, knowing that I would stop him again if he tried to speak.

"So, I'm giving us both some time." I paused, knowing that time wasn't what I wanted. It was, though, what I-we-needed. "Time to find out who we are again. Time to be friends again, without all the angst that has made up the past few months. Time to be sure."

"I've had time, Rachel," He finally replied, leaning towards me, his gaze catching mine. I took a deep breath, clearing my head.

"Please, Finn." I said, still not pulling away. He seemed to be memorizing my face for a moment before leaning back in his chair, and popped a French fry into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then swallowed and let out a huff of air. He nodded, then smiled at me.

"Okay," he said softly, his smile growing into the boyish grin I loved.

"Okay," I repeated, returning his grin. I took a bite of my salad, and relaxed in my seat, relishing how good it felt to sit next to him again, for it to seem so natural.

"So, I probably could have done without Noah's rendition of 'I'm too sexy' for his cheesy assignment," I said, making conversation, "but I thought Sam's 'Afternoon Delight' was entertaining, even if the song choice was a bit inappropriate."

"You were my best friend before, you know," he said, suddenly, picking up his second sandwich, "before we started dating. Before you were with Jesse. Before I even found out that Beth wasn't mine." He turned to smile at me before he continued, "I was always happy when I was with you. Do you remember when you were teaching me how to relax for a school picture and we sang smile?" I nodded, remembering.

"And after sectionals, the whole Santana and Brittany thing, and then Jesse, I was afraid I was going to lose that. Then, we sang Faithfully… Anyway, I just thought you should know that. You were my best friend, Rach. You still are."

"Me too," I said simply, smiling. He grinned back, and took another big bite of his sandwich. I just shook my head, a sense of relief washing over me. I stood up, taking the necessary few steps to toss my trash into the dumpster.

"Where are you going?" Finn asked, mumbling around the bite. I laughed and nodded towards the clock.

"Class, of course. Mrs. Jensen would kill me if I'm late for her Gettysburg Address presentation today. And don't talk with your mouth full, it's rude." I said, still smiling. I felt like I had smiled more in the last few minutes than I had in the last few weeks. He smiled, and looked back down at his food as I began to walk away. I paused, biting my lip, before turning around and sneaking up behind him. I hesitated for second or two, then placing my arm gently around his shoulder, I quickly brushed my lips against his cheek in a swift kiss. My heart pounding, I turned around and all but ran from the room.


End file.
